Yes You Can

Happier Than Ever: My Coming Out as Queer Story

• Hannah Pratt

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In this heartfelt episode, I open up about coming out publicly at age 36—and how it’s transformed my life. Along the way, I chat about why I unapologetically repost older content, the shame I carried with me from childhood, and how discovering love later in life felt like the easiest, most natural thing.

Through stories from DJing at gay clubs to repressed emotions in relationships, I unpack:

  • What early signs and shame around my identity looked like
  • How I shifted from hiding to living authentically
  • Meeting my partner and feeling that unforgettable “crush at first sight”
  • The overwhelmingly positive reactions from family, friends, colleagues, and how love changed everything
  • Why I’m picky about the places I work and perform now
  • A reminder that “coming out” can feel right, if the timing and support are there for you

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the yes you Can podcast, a soft place to land for fit pros and aspiring entrepreneurs looking for a motivational cheerleader who's been through it all and believes your best life is about being brave and tapping into your magic. Hi, I'm Hannah Pratt, an online coach and vulnerability queen. I'm here ready to share my experiences through grief, life and finding my place on the podium to help you level up. So grab a latte and a notebook and get ready to be inspired through the yes you Can podcast. Hi, friends, welcome to another episode of yes you Can podcast. It has been a minute.

Speaker 1:

I feel like most of my episodes in 2025 are start by me saying that. But what's wild is I still get so many DMs from people saying I just discovered your podcast, I just started following you and they're clearly binging all the content and talking to me about things that I already forgot. That I said, which is very classic me. I'm actually in this state right now where I'm reusing, which sounds like I don't know. It sounds bad when I say reuse, but anyway, I'm reusing a lot of my content and reposting it. But anyway, I'm reusing a lot of my content and reposting it and I am completely unapologetic about that because there's so many people who find me for the first time now, when I've been doing this for like with my podcast and the type of content I've been teaching for instructors and coaches and resources for years, like we're going on six years of this and some folks are not going to scroll to the very beginning and I don't know if anybody else feels like this out there who's great, who creates content, but you're like this shit is good and and people should see it, but for some reason there's a shame about reposting our stuff and say I say, do it. I'm. My rule is basically, if it's been over a year, but you'll see a lot of my memes and stuff that I know did really well, that I know converted to followers, that I know offered a lot of value, you'll see me reposting that. And I'm actually creating a system now where I am re like. Every time I put something on Instagram, I'm saving it automatically, like the caption, because God forbid on Instagram goes down like I have an email list, so I'm I'm good, I'll be good, but it should not be your library for where you keep your content if you are a content creator.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, complete tangent. But so lots of new listeners, which is amazing to me. I still see my stats for podcasts go up every week and lots of people listening to first, you know, like early episodes, ones from 2021 with Christina Giroux, with Ryan Jones, with so many people who I love and admire, and just even the solo episodes where I try and provide a lot of content and curriculum, and all that Today's episode is going to be about me coming out, which you will have seen on the title, so you know what you're listening to. I don't feel like, for some reason, I feel like I should really warn people, but it's a really wonderful story and there's nothing bad about it. But it's been an interesting journey as a 30 now 37 year old woman at the time was 36.

Speaker 1:

Coming out publicly, coming out publicly and what's that meant to me. Now, a few weeks ago, maybe even a month ago, I put on my story during Pride Month, which was the first month that I was really, I would say, fully out. Like last Pride, I was definitely sharing with trusted people, but this month I was, this year I was, I was fully out, and so I want to tell everyone about that journey and because there's been questions that came through from people who are not out, and their coaches and instructors, others like who have been, who have shared that they, you know, came out 10 years ago and they're they're just connecting with me online and it's been amazing to sort of develop this community. Now I do want to note that I have a lot of privilege in my life that I acknowledge, which has definitely helped me in feeling safe and feeling like this has. It may be triggering for some who had a really horrible experience or who didn't have support from their family and friends, and my heart goes out to you.

Speaker 1:

I honestly I get choked up thinking about some of my loved ones who had a horrible experience and I I just if this is you listening, if you're one of those people, I just want to give you the biggest hug and tell you that you are perfect, you are loved, you are wonderful and you are safe. Listening to this podcast episode and I just want to extend, like my deepest sense of empathy to you and love as much as I can over a podcast episode could. So before I'm if you can't tell I'm a big weep oh, I weep every day, like I'm usually, because I'm happy, but I just get like the tears flow and at one point in my life that was not the case. I was like completely shut down emotionally. So if you knew me in 2014, 2015,. This is not the Hannah, you know, but things have been broken open in the best way, and so some of the questions I got were like and that I get a lot from straight folks too, or people who you know seem to be outside of my experience include the usual like when did you know? And maybe we'll start there because it's relevant If you're curious about your sexuality, I think you're always sort of questioning and you're always sort of trying to at least in my experience trying to sort of be like does everybody feel this way, or is this just me?

Speaker 1:

I've always been drawn to queer stories, especially ones where it's two women in love. I've always been sort of just if I'm reading a book or I'm or I'm taking some content in and I'm completely like not paying attention, I would sort of snap into focus and I remember that being really early on in my life, closeted or who haven't come out till like later on in life can probably empathize with words, especially being a millennial who went to us various schools where there was bullying, where to be cool. You were like you fit in, like it was really mean girls 2003, like that. That era is was my high school era and it's completely true and so like in that, in that movie itself they talk about like making fun of each other for being lesbians, or like Janice is made fun of for being gay. I pass as a straight person, for whatever that's worth.

Speaker 1:

I like when I've gone to Pride or I used to DJ at a gay club, which should have been everybody's indication that was not straight, but they'd be like, oh, you're straight, you're like you don't look gay and this was coming from the gay community themselves. They would just, you know, like almost as if they wanted to shoot their shot but then would sort of talk themselves out of it or I don't know. My partner has experienced the same thing and I don't think she would mind in me sharing this that like she's been, you know out and has, as would say, she's as gay as the day is long for her majority of her adult life, and she would get the same thing because she's very feminine and beautiful and stunning and perfect in every way. And I am very feminine, I would say, you know, I had like extensions a few years ago. That's just always been how I've presented, even though I'm quite tall six feet tall and would always like be forced to play like the dad in make-believe games or like the husband because I was taller.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, like growing up, there's just lots of shame experiences. I think I like kissed a friend on the cheek or something, but she's because she was feeling bad. I'm in grade three, like literally so young and I remember this so vividly of her being like ew, hannah likes to kiss girls and like wiping her face, and I remember feeling so alone and feeling so terrified that I was going to be made fun of and othered and all of that. And I already felt that away a bit in my childhood. I don't know if it's like being this young but being really tall, being kind of awkward, I really just wanted to fade into the background at every possible opportunity and I did not want to be in the spotlight although now my life I definitely do love the spotlight. But growing up I didn't want that. I had social anxiety. I blushed like crazy in high school, I had terrible acne and growing up I just remember a lot of these sort of shame experiences of I didn't know a single gay person and I definitely did not know a single lesbian or woman who's gay at all, outside of Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres, who are fan, you know, have built amazing careers, but not ones who I would recognize myself in either in their personalities or how they looked or how they dressed or any of that.

Speaker 1:

And when you can't really see like an example of yourself out in the world, I think it's easy to sort of play a trick on yourself or convince yourself that you're not, that you don't belong, that you don't belong because kids and youth and and even even now, like what we see out in the world is what we believe to be true and possible, and so until you're that person creating it and have the confidence to do so, you're sort of constantly looking for like external oh touch points of I'm okay, because there's another person that I see myself in and I I just didn't. I also didn't. Really I was never personally attracted to women who were very masculine, and so even the like the couples who you'd see Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres and I don't think Ellen DeGeneres is super masculine but she's definitely more masc than feminine, and that sort of couple isn't what I thought I would want. I was always attracted to feminine women and I think when you look back and a lot of people who have come out, who I'm friends with, have had the same experience, especially women. It's no, I don't have a crush on her, I just like always want to be around her and she's my best friend and I just am devastated if she doesn't call me back.

Speaker 1:

And if there's another person who comes around and I'm really jealous, it's only because she's my best friend and it's no, that was a full crush, you know. No, you just loved her and that's not always the case. If any of my best friends from childhood are listening, no, I didn't have a crush on you. Probably there were a few situations where I realize now that when a friendship ended or when another person came into the picture, it was probably more of a crush, and I really didn't. I didn't have a ton of crushes on boys.

Speaker 1:

I think it was like I was really, really good always at pretending to be normal quote unquote and part of that is I grew up I talk about this a lot and if you're a friend of mine, like apologies for going over the story again, but I grew up in a really hard part of the city and people are very surprised when I tell them that I grew up on Floor Avenue, where there's been a lot of crime. It's in the north end of the city, which I actually like, I love it, but it is not an area that you would expect to necessarily see me in, mainly because it was majority Indigenous people of color newcomers to Canada who live in this area, and it was just simply my parents didn't have a lot of money when we were growing up like at all, and we so I went to schools, especially junior, high and high school, that were completely outside of my catchment area that we would drive to, and so people just assumed I lived in that same area and I would I would be terrified to sort of correct them. I didn't want to get into where I lived because I learned along the way that I would say where I lived and people like I don't know where that is and I'd be like oh, the North end, what Like you like? What Like? Oh my God, are you in a gang Like all this ridiculous, like stereotypical stuff? And I grew up not like with my friends and it all seemed normal.

Speaker 1:

And then grade six hit. I moved to a different school in grade seven and all of a sudden it became a problem where I grew up and it was really. I became ashamed of it, I'm embarrassed to say, because I just didn't want to be different. I didn't want to be different, I didn't want money to be a thing, but like it was. My friends had houses that movies were shot in. My first boyfriend had a movie shot in his house and it was like a palace. It's so beautiful. And my house was gorgeous in the North End and we had a beautiful yard, but like the area was not desirable to other people generally.

Speaker 1:

And so I think in my youth, and if I'm looking back from a psychology perspective and being like, how did I miss this sort of like? How did I not know I had ADHD is women, and girls especially, I think, are really good at becoming the version of them that others really love to see so beautiful, quiet, humble, takes care of their appearance, isn't too loud, isn't too br, isn't too brash, isn't too, you know, causing a ruckus is just kept and and trained basically, and I would become a chameleon around the different people that I was with, and that was whether that was sports or something else. I would just sort of I feel like I was never really my whole self. I didn't have a high school experience where I felt confident. I didn't have a high school experience where I felt confident. I didn't have a high school experience where I felt like I could be myself and be accepted. I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder and others I'm sure who knew me in high school would be like, oh no, you have tons of friends and yes. But I look back at high school and be like, wow, I wish I could just go back for a week and change my life, because I think I could have a lot happier had I, had I not cared so much. But that's easier to say than you know in hindsight, whatever. So back to the coming out story.

Speaker 1:

I, I like, have very few experiences, but when I wasing, I loved being at the gay bars. I loved the acceptance. I loved like just you could be yourself. I loved the music. I loved the culture. I DJed at Fame in Winnipeg and I had a residency there for a little bit and then I would just be a regular DJ when they needed one. And I loved the drag queens. I loved, you know, seeing them perform and at this time I was still not very confident in being in the spotlight that the DJs are not always in the spotlight like in the podium, you know, on a podium or whatever on a platform they're often in the background. I just loved being in that that space and curating experience. And I remember girls hitting on me and again, they weren't really the ones that I was like attracted to or would have been attracted to, but I was so curious and would and about people who were there and be like are they gay, are they not? And that was sort of as far as that that time in my life went.

Speaker 1:

I've been in a lot of uh like not a lot, but a few long-term serious relationships, all with men and for for respectful purposes. I'm not going to go into those relationships and what was lacking or or what didn't feel right, because there was a lot of good things. I think everybody can learn from relationships they've been in. What I did learn was that and I think that's important for this story is many times in relationships or experiences with men specifically, it didn't feel right and it sort of felt like I was missing something Like this should be, wow, this should be this much better. Or maybe it was great for a month or so and then you, you know, whatever. And in my long-term relationships, obviously there's reasons that we stayed together, but it felt like there was something lacking, there's something that was missing and I and especially in physical experiences and feeling connected on a really deep level.

Speaker 1:

And at some point when I was single, I decided to start matching with women and I honestly can't really remember what prompted that. I knew I had always been attracted to women. I think at that point I was just more like acknowledging it and saying, oh okay, like I'm willing to be a little bit public about this, I was still very private in terms of I was not telling a lot of people. I was just on Bumble, you know, had my preferences to men and women and I'd have conversations and some of them went places and some of them didn't. I'd travel and that would be more where I'd explore, feel like actually meeting up with with women and and having conversations in real life, and that was sort of as far as it went, like I didn't my my socks were not blown off by any particular person, whether it was like conversations on, on a dating app or or whatever, and but I, at that time, I did tell my best friend, gaston, who is gay. And not only is he gay, but he is an educator. He just finished his master's degree specializing in 2SLGBTQIA plus experiences and how to bring them into education. He got his master's degree in education and I learned so much from him all the time and I knew that he would be a completely safe space not just a safer space, but a completely safe space to tell, and he would not make a big deal which he never makes anything a big deal, which is amazing. That's serious. He just takes it all in his ride and he was just happy for me and excited, and this was right before COVID, this was 2019.

Speaker 1:

And at that time, I also met my current partner and I'm like literally smiling talking about her already, but I met her, she was in a relationship, she's the friend of one of my close friends and that particular friend, carly, is my partner's best friend of decades, like they've known each other since they were teenagers, and so we were all at the same place. I was talking to my current partner's ex and she walked up and this person who I knew, introduced me to her and it felt like I had been hit with like Cupid's arrow. And it felt like I had been hit with like Cupid's arrow, like I, when I say I was so affected and jolted to the point where I started blushing something I didn't do ever, really like I haven't done since high school. I was blown away, like I just thought she was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and she was striking, like her presence was it just felt so powerful to me that I, as I said, I was blushing, I was sweating, I looked in probably insane I just finished teaching a spin class and I shook her hand and remember I remember sort of ignoring her after that, like trying to not get deep into the conversation because I was so enamored and I didn't want her partner at the time to like catch on, I didn't want anybody to feel awkward, I couldn't control this Like it was just one of those and yeah, I got the girl in the end, which is amazing. Those and and yeah, I got the girl in the end, which is amazing. But I, yeah, I just it was one of the first times in my life where people who talk about love at first sight or that lust at first sight or whatever. I finally got it, like I really did get it, and and I sort of like you know, like that that was the end of that. Nothing happened.

Speaker 1:

Obviously, she was in relationships and I was in a relationship in 2020, starting on but I knew of her and that was, I think, like the first crush from afar that I I really ever had, and I just assumed like it would never work out, obviously because, again, she was in a long-term relationship and and I just let it die and I was like that, or let the dream die, if you will. I was also in a really depressed state and I don't say that lightly. I had a. I had a relationship end in uh, in late 2018, want to say, and it was awful, and I was rejected in such a way that I feel like it broke my confidence and spirit almost completely and, having lost my mom in 2014 to mental illness and just been through a lot, I was really broken and so I was sort of dating people and just trying to figure out my place and what my worth was.

Speaker 1:

Honestly, I saw her again at various things, for our friend, our friend Carly, was getting married and so I had gone to her bachelorette. My partner couldn't go because of a work thing, so we had all these missed sort of just like times we would have spent together as pals, as friends. We just weren't in the same place, which is very strange given our, our connection, of this, of this friend. But I, there's a few conversations I remember having with her and she would come to uh, come to where I would teach at uh wheelhouse and come to my classes and we'd chat briefly via Instagram, all just like normal stuff. But over the years I would always send her heart emojis and you know, heart eyes and stuff, especially if I knew that she was like single and and I just I just had a crush on her. I just had a crush on her. I just she was hilarious, she was smart, she's beautiful, she's just the absolute best and and I'd have these and I would be so nervous, like to to make a good impression and I would yeah, it was just it and so fast forward.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to tell the whole story of how we got together, but we did start hanging out as friends and then, once we were both available, decided to start dating and then basically we've been in love ever since and we live together and she's the love of my life and I, I just like I feel the same emotion that I did that first day when I first met her, and it's so beautiful. I say this also because I didn't believe that this type of relationship existed. I didn't believe that this type of love existed. I wasn't cynical, I would say, but I was like had some battle wounds from, from relationships that didn't work out, that in hindsight you know, didn't, shouldn't have, but they ended really badly a really horrible breakup with, with somebody I had bought this house with and and who who basically took me to court over my, over my mom's inheritance, and I had to pay him a significant amount of money and like all this sort of stuff. That just made me feel like, you know, maybe life is better on my own and when I would see happy couples and even like romance novels, I'm like this doesn't exist until I found it and I truly feel. You know, we're a year in now and it's only getting better and better, which is pretty wild, but and we live together and it's my most favorite thing there's no squabbling, there's no like any of that sort of stuff. It's actually the best. I get to see her every day.

Speaker 1:

So I just wanted to have a little sidebar about that, because if you're listening, you're like, oh bleh, like I'm with you, believe me, I'm with you until it happened to me. And then I'm like, oh no, everybody needs to know that this is possible, because it should feel easy and you should be excited more than six months in but I digress so in, obviously, our conversations, when we were starting to feel each other out in terms of okay, I really like you, and I told her I was like I've had a crush on you since the minute I met you, and she didn't believe me and I was like no, no, I remember it. I remember meeting you and I've had a crush on you ever since. That was like, I think, mind blowing to her, to quote her, because she only knew me as a straight person who was in relationships with men, and one of the questions she asked me when we first were again talking about this, about the possibilities, was like how are you going to feel? Like, how are people going to receive you when you come out? How is your? Are you scared? Are you like, who are you most nervous to tell? I think and I was like you know, I'm probably most like the people we know together. I think I want them to know that this is serious. But no, I'm not nervous, I'm. I can't tell you audience listeners, whoever's listening, how much this felt like a full body, yes, and it just felt like a key locking, like fitting into a lock that like was meant to be there this whole time or it's just, it's always felt like a full body. Yes, and since telling people who have all been wonderful, I felt more at home in my body, in my mind, I felt more like myself than I ever have been.

Speaker 1:

Like pride festivals where I'd go, like I literally was responsible for putting our CFL team the wouldn't be blue bombers in the pride parade and having a sponsor the entire kids fest grounds, because I was the director of community relations at the time, we had a gay men's choir sing the national anthem and I flew the rainbow flag. If people that around me didn't know that I was gay, like it didn't feel like a surprise to a lot of people, which is hilarious and always makes my partner laugh because I was, oh, yeah, for sure, and it's again. It's not like I'm, I'm presenting in any other way than being like feminine and just like I don't know. But they, it's more my vibe, I think, and I've always been a really loud ally and I, going to these pride festivals, I'd feel like, no, I'm one of you, but I feel I don't feel included. But this feels like I should be here and it feels like it should feel like home and I sort of want to.

Speaker 1:

I think I said that to my partner in one of our early conversations was like she's like I love that, you're like love the queers. And I was like, well, you know I'm not really straight, so like she was like what? And I was like, yeah, also, I have a crush on you and I love you. Can we be together forever? I did not say it like that, but yeah, I would tell people who I was, who I trusted, and so that was my best friend, and then a few other people at the time I did tell my, my friend Carly, that I had a crush on her friend and she was like, yeah, I get in line, everybody does. And I was like, oh cool, I can see why.

Speaker 1:

But in coming out I told my employer, who was amazing I'm again very privileged to work at a institution that is extremely on the right side of history with things like advocating and amplifying voices of marginalized people. We work reconciliation into all of our curriculums. It's literally a learning outcome of all of the curriculums I teach at the college that I work at. So I work at a college, so, as an educational institution, they are deeply committed to inclusion and so that's for our students, that's also for staff. So, honestly, they couldn't have been more proud and excited for me and my boss was just like listen, yay, let me know if you need help with any of this in terms of coming out, if you want any support. But I was basically like wanting to throw a party. I was just so excited and I was like, yeah, I'm dating a woman and she's amazing. And I just started to work it in, Like I was, instead of being like, hey, I'm gay, now I would say, or I'm queer, I would say that my partner, her I would be clear to use her pronouns in conversations with people who I had known for a while I did just, you know, send them a quick text and be like hey, listen, I'm really, really happy right now and that's because I'm dating the best person in the world.

Speaker 1:

Her name is Adrian and would, just, you know, move into that. Really naturally and thankfully, everyone in my life has been extremely positive and supportive. If they haven't been, I'm not aware of it. Nobody's come to me with feelings of concern. I live in Canada. We are an extremely liberal country, thank God, and I feel super safe in all of my communities and the places that I have sort of chosen to be in. So Vault Cycle Club, where I teach, formerly known as Wheelhouse my boss was just like pumped there. I mean, he's been one of my pals for a long, long time too and he knows my partner and she's been, you know, a rider there for a long, long time. So it's like everybody was pumped. We I took her as my wedding date to a friend's wedding last July and that was really the first sort of like public outing we had and I, you know, told my colleagues were at the wedding Like listen, like Adrian's my date and because we're dating, and everybody just honestly jumped up and down. I was so excited.

Speaker 1:

I know that this is not the experience of a lot of people, but the thing is and things that I recognize that have helped me is like I've surrounded myself with like minded people for my entire, as long as I can make that choice and some of the workplaces I've been at where it didn't work out like my full time job, where I've been a director or I've been, you know, in a leadership position. I realize now this would have felt almost impossible or really really hard earlier on in my career or when I was in places where it didn't feel like our values aligned. But even still, living in this day and age, it's far more acceptable or I don't know what the word is, celebrated, I guess than to be different, to be yourself than it would have been when I was in high school. I cannot imagine coming out in high school in the time that I lived in, because of how rampant bullying was both in my high school and my junior high and just how hard that would have been for me high and just how hard that would have been for me. I also, like I think I'm I don't think I'm unique in all ways, but I do think I'm pretty unique in the way that, like I happen to meet the love of my life immediately, fall for her and then finally start dating her five years later. And she's the one.

Speaker 1:

You know I didn't have a lot of dating experiences and if you would ask me to like why I wasn't in a relationship with a woman earlier, it's as I said when I was talking to them I never really I don't know. I just didn't feel it like I didn't feel anything for anyone. And I think in dating men, a lot of them would do the work of asking you out and like just sort of being persistent enough sometimes that you would end up in a relationship with them where, like it would continue on even if it wasn't right. I do think that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and there's been wonderful things that I've been taught in all my relationships, and my partner would probably the same, say the same about hers. Then you find the right one and you're like, oh, this is how it's supposed to feel, and so I I yeah, like in terms of riders and people who have been, like people who've been in the community, one of the questions I got was what? What's been the response from riders and do they see you differently? What's been the response from riders and do they see you differently? And so I truly haven't seen any difference in how riders treat me. I hope they don't see me any differently.

Speaker 1:

Again, I've been pretty loud and proud in terms of being an ally and doing pride rides and stuff. I am the only gay woman who's out. At least there might be somebody who's, you know, reveals their sexuality later on, I have absolutely no idea, but the person. I'm the only gay woman who's on the roster of instructors and my numbers have stayed the same, if not grown. I have had such positive feedback from people generally and, again, there might be people who don't ride with me as a result of this, and I truly don't know it, but they would be the silent minority, I think, because at this time in our lives, every company is trying to be a part of pride. Every company I know is like trying to throw, you know, a pride flag up on their logo for Pride Month, and their hiring practices have to be inclusive in Canada, and often they will favor people who are favor is a weird word to use, but like they want people to self-declare if they are indigenous or Métis or First Nations, or if they have a disability, if you're a woman, if you're a part of the queer community, and so this is something that employers that I'm familiar with want more diverse voices. They want more diverse experiences, lived experiences, perspectives, and so it's not a bad thing to be somebody who's on the team who represents a certain demographic or a certain perspective. Because of the work I do in communications, I'm also like I've been in and behind a lot of campaigns so Wheelhouse's Pride campaigns. I've collaborated with other motivators from other studios on our design, on our initiatives giving back to different community resources, so this is sort of part of my personality already. So, again, it was not a surprise.

Speaker 1:

I will tell you a little beautiful story about when I texted my dad this and I had already been like bragging and, just you know, like talking about my quote unquote friend Adrian. With him we had this really wild car trip that we had to take because our flight was canceled and we were going to my cousin's funeral, and so my dad and I drove back from Calgary to Winnipeg, which is about 16 hours in a day, and you know, there I was like I would have loved to have told him about her, but we weren't, we hadn't told people yet, and so he had the opportunity to meet her a few times at various things and then I told her I was like you know. I told him, like you might have noticed, I'm really happy these days. My dad had commented on that and I was like it's, one of the big reasons is because I'm with Adrian and we're dating and I'm really really happy. No-transcript, I haven't seen like this in a long time, which always makes me feel a little bit verklempt, but yeah, so that that was my experience. It felt like I was celebrated every step of the way. It felt like I was celebrated every step of the way.

Speaker 1:

Now, for what I do for my business, there's been a few times where I've gotten DMs or things about what I share politically. And so let me be real blunt Any politician who has made it their mission to take away the rights of others and promote hate, bigotry, racism, sexism and I think we can all guess who we're talking about. So I've spoken publicly about hating Trump and not just hating him, because that sounds so surface level just being completely against what I stand for. And so when I share resources, I say I don't support Trump and I don't really want people to support Trump to follow me, because you're not going to find it to be a comfortable place Unless you have an open mind and you want to have a conversation that's in a dialogue, that is, that where you're willing to be proven wrong which I believe that every Trump supporter is wrong then then sure, stay and learn.

Speaker 1:

But I have had to make some hard decisions about the fact that I sell programs and courses and how do I use my platform to speak out about certain issues Now, obviously ones that impact communities, like when we're talking about trans people and removing rights from trans people. I'm going to talk about it, I'm going to speak up, and there's been some people who are like you're just promoting divisiveness and hate. I'm like, no, I'm actually like I'm matching the energy of what's out there, because reason doesn't seem to work and conversations that are intellectual don't seem to always work in this sphere, when we're talking about politics and rights, and I don't see why it is so extreme to say that we should not be taking rights away from people, and so if that's the conversation, then I'm just going to say this place is not for you now. And so these dams have come through, being like don't promote. And this was more so when Trump was elected, and I think in the months that have followed, more people have realized that they were wrong. Trump supporters have had their own rights stripped away and been fired from jobs and promises obviously broken. The economy has been awful, and so I did get a lot of DMs about that and being like I don't want to follow you if you're talking about the queer stuff and whatever and I'm like great bye Again. Privilege, because I'm at the age. I am where, I own my own house, I own my own business, I work at a place that promotes inclusion and reconciliation and all the right things, and so my livelihood and my home and my safety don't depend on on being quiet.

Speaker 1:

Now what I will say is it's the most interesting experiences I've had since coming out have been when I went for number one, like switching gears a bit because we just were really serious for a second is when people say that my partner I look like and ask if we're sisters. It drives me crazy. It drives me absolutely crazy and like we, we're blonde and we have, you know, light color eyes, but we physically do not look the same and people will be like are you twins? Yeah, we're twins. We're just hanging out holding each other, kissing each other. Yeah, we're twins, like it's. It's such a weird thing. It sort of reminds me of people commenting on how tall I am, like I, just if this is your opener, like this is the most interesting thing you have to say. And yeah, I'm getting a little fired up, but it's just.

Speaker 1:

It happened to us recently at my partner's birthday and there was a person sitting there who was talking to a friend of hers and and it wasn't really within the group and she leans over and she's are you twins? And I think she'd been drinking. I was like I was like no, and before I could sort of explain well, you must be sisters. Then I was like no, well, you look, I'm like and I just wanted to be like, just pause for a second, gal my guy and and say, like I said, this is my partner, we are not sisters. Oh, you look so much like, like I. I get that you think that is what I said and I turned around. It's probably the meanest thing I've said. I was just so over it and I didn't like I don't want to have a drunk girl conversation about like why my partner and I are not related. Nobody wants that. No straight person wants to hear that they look like their wife or their husband is their sister looks like their sibling. Nobody wants to hear that. And so I yeah, that's probably the most annoying thing that we get.

Speaker 1:

But I think that because I've at the point in my adult life where I don't have to go a lot of places I don't want to go, like I, you know, go to work, which is a place I want to go. I go to social functions with friends who are, you know, like my. Our best friends, gaston and his partner Drew, are like we have this little, you know double date foursome where we always hang out and so it's two gay men and two gay women and it's just fun, right, and we just get each other. And so when we're in situations where we're not necessarily around people we would choose, is when I find it a little bit more I don't know if awkward is the right word, but like I'm more aware of how we're being perceived. So holding hands and being affectionate, that sort of stuff, like I can really only imagine how it would feel in a place where being queer is not I don't want to say accepted, but it's like the minority or it's not the general feel Like I've avoided traveling to certain places since I've come out, because I don't want to feel uncomfortable and I don't want to have to feel like, oh, if, if we're holding hands down the street, we're going to get heckled or catcalled or whatever.

Speaker 1:

That's the stuff I'm aware of, and so I'm choosing to not travel as much right now, partly because this is a time where I'm trying to really assess the studios, who I want to work with, the people I want to work with. I want to make sure that they're super aware of who I am and my values. I don't want to run into a situation where I'm traveling to consult with the studio or a company or working with somebody and I feel awkward in being myself because it's taken 37 years to get to the place where I feel completely at home and that is a gift that I will never take for granted again. So I'm stepping back from some of the things I plan to do because I want to make sure if it's a client I'm taking on, or even if it's a workshop I'm delivering to a bunch of people, I want to make sure I kind of know who's in the room, and that's not just because of preference, of wanting to have an echo chamber of the similar, like type of of people, but I want to make sure that we are, that we are like very aligned at the core of morality and ethics and human rights. I want to make sure that there's no misalignment there, because there just can't be. There just can't be at this point in my life. So I hope that this has been helpful for those who are listening and wondering you know, when am I going to come out or what's the right time. I acknowledge again that there's been a lot of privilege and time spent in getting to this point where I feel super comfortable, and whether or not somebody likes me or agrees with me doesn't mean I'm going to lose my house or I'm going to be kicked out of my house or that my parents are never going to speak to me again. There's none of that that I have to worry about.

Speaker 1:

My mom passed away in 2014, as I've mentioned several times already, even on this podcast, and I had a conversation with her one time and I was like, well, what if I? I think I was just trying to sort of like it was one of those mother daughter fights which is you don't even know where it started, and she loved me and supported me and would do anything for me. But I remember saying look, well, what if I'm gay? She said well, I would be. I would be sad for you because your life would be harder. Be sad for you because your life would be harder and at that time that might have been true, like at that time that she grew up in and the time that I grew up in in high school it would have been harder. At this point in my life it is easier. It is easier because it feels like I was wearing an ill-fitting garment, a suit, and I took it off and I can just breathe and be myself.

Speaker 1:

I am aware that there might be students who come to the program I'm in who might not agree and they might have very like strict religious beliefs and their minds are going to be opened. But it's not just going to be because of me. It's going to be because of the type of environment and the culture and the community that we have of inclusion, where I've had students who have transitioned midway through the two-year program and we as a faculty completely support them and we change the way we refer to them and we change their pronouns and we, like you know, we all just rally, and the students, I think, actually have been in my mind. They're amazing. They treat each other with so much love and respect and whether somebody is non-binary or they're transitioning or they have a disability of some sort, like they are truly Gen Z, I don't know. They get a lot of. We make fun of them a lot, especially as a millennial, but they are. They got it going on For lack of a better word, this is the worst old-timey phrase. They got it going on, but they are great at this and so, yeah, there might be people that I encounter, but they're not ones that happens that frequently.

Speaker 1:

I will also say that I've had more opportunities from more for-profit businesses. They need diverse voices. I've been able to actually be tapped for a few campaigns working with an agency whom I love in the city called Uphouse, subcontracted through them after my college term ended, to work on an amazing PR initiative to promote a traveling exhibit from the Canadian Museum for Human Rights, on their exhibit called Love in a Dangerous Time, and it's talking about the LGBTQ. Oh sorry, lgbt is what the term that they use for this historical exhibit purge of the Military and Police Forces in the 1960s approximately, and so this exhibit was traveling into Washington, and so I was working with the agency to write the release and get it like out and just help with some of that work behind the scenes. I worked with one of their clients on a Pride video campaign where I actually wrote the script for the CEO, who is also gay, and this is a very this is a queer focused organization. But I was, I was writing it for them and wrote the landing page and helped with the release and the launch and I've had more opportunities come my way and so I just I hope that that my initial message of I realize this is not the case for everybody.

Speaker 1:

If you are at a point where you're like me and think about coming out later on in life and you have some of those safe safety measures in place where you can, you are financially stable on your own and you feel like, ok, I'm just now, I just need that, that opportunity, that push, that catalyst. For me it was easy to say I, I'm like I'm dating a woman and that's the conversation starter. You know, I'm also so proud of my partner and I just love her so much that I want to shout how amazing she is from the rooftops and talk about her all the time, which is partly the reason for this whole episode. But I just want to, if it feels right, if you feel like this is the time where you are going to stop living for somebody else, where you are tired of changing who you are or sort of shape-shifting for different, like for the love and acceptance of others, like it's not true love and acceptance if they don't know who you are at your core, don't know who you are at your core and when and how you choose to share. That is completely up to you. All I can say, having been on the other side now and being at the age that I am, I am so happy and so grateful for the people in my life who made it feel truly like a celebration.

Speaker 1:

And if this is you, if you're listening, you're like I want, I want to, but I'm not sure there's going to be some resources in the show notes here, because I certainly don't want to push anyone to come out who's not ready. That's at all, not at all, my intention. It's just to say, in addition to some of the stories you might hear of it being awful and and horrible, awful and and horrible, there's also really wonderful ones, where people are are the best versions of themselves when you come out and they are happy for you and they're excited and they, they give you a big hug. Basically, that's how it's. Oh, that's how it's felt this whole time. So it has not been hard, it's been wonderful and I I really hope that if you're listening to this and maybe you maybe you even might have been a person who, who didn't react well to a friend coming out and now you're, like, you know, thinking about it differently or whatever know that life is long and you can mess things up and and you can atone for them.

Speaker 1:

I hope that people who are listening like know that if a friend comes out to you and you're an ally, you you can be like oh my God, I'm so amazing, I'm so excited to know this version of you and I'm so excited to hear more whatever you're willing to share. And you know, questions like when did you know? Or a little bit like I don't know, people kind of know for a long time, probably when they acknowledge it is sort of irrelevant. But my boss when she said, you know how can I support you, or let me know if I can support you in any way like that was really it. That was really how, what I needed, you know, and so if you have any questions, if you're an ally, like, hey, well, what do I do with a certain situation? I'm not an expert by any means. There's lots of amazing resources out there for people who are looking for more help for broaching conversations, for bringing this up.

Speaker 1:

For me it felt natural to text my dad and not have a big phone call thing about it, like I just I wanted to give him some time to sit with that information. I didn't necessarily need to see his face, you know, I do think that some conversations are better having you know better in person versus in writing. But I just, I don't know felt right honestly, and we had coffee and he met, you know, adrian as my partner then shortly then after. But having conversations with people make sure that they're the ones that you are really excited to tell and you know, you think, that they're going to react really well and protect yourself. But as an instructor, as a coach, I've never felt again more like my authentic self. I get to lead pride rides as an out person, which makes me feel so excited. We had a ride with two drag queens in partnership with Queer Fit Club recently, and that was amazing. And so there's so much possibility on the other side, whatever it is, of being your authentic self, and I hope that today this conversation or this narrative of thoughts was helpful to you in knowing me a little bit more and knowing what I stand for and the things that I value, and I hope that you feel like if you needed this conversation, if you needed a bit of hey, life does feel amazing on the other side that that I don't know. That is just inspiring to somebody. I felt called to do this today. I was going to do it during Pride Month and then completely lost steam and needed some time to relax and so and also work on all these projects I was just talking about. But if you need any help, please DM me. I will do my best to connect you to the resources of experts out there and I will do my best to be the best listener ever as you need it. Thanks, friends.

Speaker 1:

Reminder of all the things that are happening in my Instructor Magic world you can enroll in Instructor Magic anytime. At this point I'm going to be closing the doors in September and then doing another live round where we are like all starting at the same time. But if you go to the link in my show notes, there's a sale so you can get Podium Prep, which is a course for aspiring instructors or coaches. It helps you get to your first audition and hopefully pass it and kick off your instructor career. Instructor Magic is a six-week online course where you have live time access and we do live calls as well, so you get live coaching, live support from me In addition to the full curriculum.

Speaker 1:

The choreography vault is a vault of videos where I am coaching live on the bike and you can see how I break down choreo. You can see my process and how I would lead it, incorporate it, which type of tracks I would be using, and yada yada. And then I have Studio Sales Accelerator, which is for studios who want to accelerate their sales in Q4, which is coming up, and so if you're wanting to launch a Black Friday sale or anything like that, this walks you through, step by step, how to do that, what the timeline should be and even how to price your offers and stack them so that you maximize your revenue at a time when people are going to be looking for fitness solutions. Quote unquote in December and January. And how do you make sure that the sale doesn't eat into your normal revenue?

Speaker 1:

So that is it, friends. I hope you have an amazing day whenever you're listening to this and reminder yes you can. Thanks for listening all the way to the end of the yes you Can podcast. If you loved this one, I would so appreciate a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts that lets others know that, hey, this is a good podcast and it's worthwhile to listen to. If you really loved it, make sure to share with somebody you love who could benefit from a little magic and motivation in their lives. Thanks so much, friends, and have a great day.